Deshoulières - One of the outlandish tales from Les morts bizarres (Bizarre Deaths) by Jean Richepin, French fin de siècle author with a flair for both the Romantic and the Decadent. Oh, how this story screams out for its own review. Here goes:
DESHOULIÈRES
Deshoulières was a man obsessed - his obsession: to be totally original and unpredictable in every phase of his daily life. He pushed this rule of conduct to the point of extreme eccentricity and thus became known as the dandy of the unpredictable.
Detecting originality exclusively in change, Deshoulières contrived the axiom that one should never, ever repeat one's same appearance. To this end, our dandy of the unpredictable varied his clothes, mannerisms, speech and physical appearance each time he strolled the Paris streets. If there was anyone who took to heart Baudelaire's insistence that life should be lived as if continually in front of a mirror, Deshoulières is our man.
Likewise with his mind - Deshoulières was a veritable mental kaleidoscope, "showing up paradoxes like colored glass, mingled with the most monstrous truisms," which overwhelmed the listener at every turn. Moreover, he was blessed with an entire array of artistic gifts in poetry, painting and music. Had he pursued any of these with dedication, he would undoubtedly be counted among the immortals, on the level of Keats or Shelley, Rembrandt or Vermeer, Mozart or Liszt. But, alas, to center his creative juices in exclusively one direction would be both predictable and, even worse, boring. No, no, no . . . none of that for Deshoulières. For, as his told his friends, there was no sense in his attempting to be a god since he already was a god. And the reaction to the dandy's bold statement? Most Parisians wrote him off as a complete lunatic but there were some who judged him a weird kind of Antichrist.
Genius that he was, Deshoulières concocted a bit of originality that eventually cost him his life: he murdered his mistress, had her embalmed and continued to love her. The deed was pulled off with such skill, such novelty, such panache, our dandy of the unpredictable could not be pinned to the murder.
But the fact his monstrous crime remained a secret struck Deshoulières as far too banal. Thus, he performed a master stroke of the unpredictable: he confessed to the murder and displayed not the slighted remorse. Predictably, the whole of Paris cried out in horror and all eyes were riveted on Deshoulières.
We may ask: What did the supreme dandy do in prison? Jean Richepin informs us, "he busied himself not with his defense, nor with his notoriety, but with classifying and codifying the mysteries of animal magnetism, and of transforming this dense philosophical treatise into a sequence of monosyllabic sonnets."
At his trial, his lawyer, an illustrious member of the profession, produced a defense so extraordinary, the jury was left in tears, a defense most certainly establishing Deshoulières' innocence. But then, ever the dandy of the unpredictable, Deshoulières congratulated his lawyer on such a stunning performance then proceeded in "proving his own guilt so comprehensively that no possible doubt could remain. The verdict that had seemed so certain was reversed by him like a glove, and he obtained what he wanted: the unpredictable result of having himself, by his own volition, condemned to death."
Completely unperturbed, Deshoulières spent his last hours inventing a new dance-step and developing a unique recipe for oyster sauce. As a grand finale of his unpredictable life, when he was taken to the guillotine, at the last moment, so as not to have his neck sliced like any Tom, Dick or Harry, Deshoulières pulled his head down and the guillotine blade topped his skull like a boiled egg. So befitting for the dandy of the unpredictable! Bizarre death, anyone?
Note: The English translation of Deshoulières may be found in French Decadent Tales published by Oxford University Press.
Jean Richepin, 1849 - 1926
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