Firing the Cathedral by Michael Moorcock

 


Firing the Cathedral - novella by Michael Moorcock that's also included as tale #11 in The Lives and Times of Jerry Cornelius.

Firing the Cathedral consists of twenty-two short chapters. To share a preview, I'll focus on Chapters 1-6.

ONE - BUFFALO SOLDIERS
“Aha, young patriot? And what do you desire the Gandalf to bring you for July 4th?”

We're at the World Trade Center Memorial Mall, not the recently constructed new one since Firing the Cathedral published in 2002. None other than Bishop Beesley plays the part of Gandalf from the middle of May until 9/11 when he switches over to Uncle Santa or Sam Claus til December 25th.

Love that conflating Uncle Sam and Santa Claus cause sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Also love how Beesley as J.R.R. Tolkien's Gandalf does the patriotic thing by linking his wizardry with America's celebration of Independence Day. Meanwhile, twitching up the bishop's cassock with his MK51 and sniffing at Gandalf's sweet smoke (adhering to mall fire regulations, I'm sure), Shaky Mo Collier asks, “Is that your own beard?”

Gandalf fires back at Shaky Mo and ends by proclaiming he's old and wise and acts “just like our president and all his sages, actually behaving according to a carefully pre-arranged plan.”

Ouch! So many zingers hurled at US politics and culture right on the first pages. And there's good reason since we're talking American mall here, haven and palace of brand names and shop til you drop. We're also talking George W. Bush as president with his “Axis of Evil” post-9/11 State of the Union Address and CNN pronouncing, “Jerusalem: This is were it all began. This is where it will end.”

Actually, Michael Moorcock includes the above clips among news quotes generously sprinkled in both the novella's short preface and at the beginning of each chapter.

An entire lineup of kids wait to have their turn with Gandalf. Meanwhile, Mo needs to buy some dope from Tolkien's gray bearded wizard. Shazam! Such black humor.

Gandalf reaches in his robe, lowers his voice and tells Mo, "Cash only. Mil a lid." No prob for Mo. He pulls a big wad from his stylish flak jacket and the deal is consummated under the zonked noses of the security guards.

Mo asks Gandalf Beesley the critical question: Wasn't it time Jerry turned up as it didn't seem fair otherwise cause he'd been on ice for too long. Such words will bring JC fans to attention: Is this a repeat of The English Assassin?

Some more Gandalf Mo stuff and Bishop Gandalf Beesley sits back down on his stool for the lineup of tranquilized kiddos....And then the kicker to end the chapter, foreshadowing with vengeance: "The whole mall was silent for ten minutes, awaiting the inevitable gunshot."

TWO - TELL ME THERE'S A HEAVEN
"He has no soul." One of the quotes kicking off this chapter, a George W. Bush quote as reported by Fox TV two months after the attack on the World Trade Center, NYC. So, so ironic since Muslims like Osama bin Laden look at the US as the Great Satan, destroyer of their Holy Lands for the sole purpose of drilling for oil. Sidebar: one Texan told me people in Texas love GWB since he prays in the White House. The clash of fundamentalists of different religions can border on the humorous (when it is not murderous).

"Ever since Jerry had known him Sir Taffy Sinclair had been up to something...So when Sinclair sent a message, the old assassin was going to come through." Go get 'em, Jer, you old English Assassin!

"The coming collapse of New York made him realize he only felt thoroughly easy in a big city." Some people, like Jer, like myself, feel uneasy in a small town where 'everyone knows everyone else' or in the country with all its biting insects, pollen and country folk. Nope - nothing but a big city will do.

Oh, yes, Jerry has made his way on the scene, as does brother Frank and Mitzi. When Jer asks about Mitzi's dad the Bishop, she tells him, "They spent a fortune on reproducing The Two Towers." Michael Moorcock has a jolly old time conflating J.R.R. Tolkien's Two Towers with NYC's Twin Towers.

"Revolutions are about people either trying to keep things the same or restore a golden age." Unfortunately, the last thing a revolutionary wants is for people to take a radical switch of identity, becoming free individuals beyond the boundaries of someone else's vision, even the leader of the revolution!

"People really hate liberty. First sniff they get of it and they dive back into their familiar captivity. They fight to the death to keep those chains." Very true! All you have to do is REALLY express your freedom by breaking away from convention, things like doing street theater with masks or dancing wildly in a public place, and the uptight, constipated conformists of the world want you to stop.

"Tom Paine, eh? And Common Sense. If you ask me the Canadians are the ones who had the common sense." As one Canadian told me: "Canada has all the material benefits of the US but none of the liabilities."

THREE - OLIVER'S ARMY
Post 9/11 and there's torture in the air for American "detainees." There's also talk about Camus' Le Myth de Sisphe.

FOUR - PIG ALLEY BLUES
"Captain Marvel Battles THE AXIS OF EVIL!" - a line from Captain Marvel Adventures, January 1945. Nothing like right wing George W Bush pronouncing the other guys, the bad guys, as pure evil, a favorite American trick since the founding of the country. Now if we go after OUR oil under your silly little raghead country, that's capitalism in action, all in the name of freedom.

"Islam means peace." So said W following 9/11. I guess he's unaware of all those Arabs who swept over Europe, moving west to Spain slicing and dicing everyone in their path.

"Trixie Brunner was getting it on at the VR arcade."

Nothing like some new video games to get the blood moving. "With her pale skin and platinum rise she looked like a Nazi poster." And Trixie Dixie has some good dope, as her dear Mom finds out: "The junk Trixie was giving her kept her comfortable."

Hey, Jer shows up here, wearing hip sixties threads. As does Shaky Mo with his swinging MK800-50. Now there's a man primed for video games!

FIVE - ON THE BEACH
Talk of the church and Jer is part of The Society, the old Co-op! Hey, Jer. Are you losing ground? At least you're not stuffing your face with all those chocolates like BB!

SIX - WHAT'S YOUR MOVIE?
One of the quotes opening this chapter, from Soldier of Fortune, March 2002, cites how George W. Bush is the model Roman General Maximus from the movie Gladiator. The author is Jack Wheeler and Jack opens by saying, "As America's victory in Afghanistan unfolds" which is a scream since in 2021, twenty years later, America had to withdraw from Afghanistan admitting victory was impossible. Well, I wonder if Hollywood will tell another story.

"The clowns have taken over the circus," or so Major Nye tells Una Persson as they drive down to the coast where Una had six weeks in Oh, What A Lovely War. Una lives on Brighton pier where it had all originally happened. We're given the sense life and the movies are bleeding into one another. And politicians are running things so that the entire country has turned itself into a three ring extravaganza under the big top.


British author Michael Moorcock, born 1939 -- The good guys always wear white hats