Orientation and Other Stories by American author Daniel Orozco, a collection of nine stories mostly focusing on the world of work, THE world for many women and men grinding it out day after day, year after year. The title story is a classic, deserving its own review, as per -
ORIENTATION
"Those are the offices and these are the cubicles. That's my cubicle there, and this is your cubicle. This is your phone. Never answer your phone. Let the Voicemail System answer it."
So begins this tale where a supervisor sets down the rules and outlines office dynamics for a new employee. Let's call the supervisor Amy and the the new employee Beth. Here are a few highlights of Amy's spiel:
"There are no personal phone calls allowed. We do, however, allow for emergencies. If you must make an emergency phone call, ask your supervisor first....If you make an emergency phone call without asking, you may be let go."
Beth is being told directly, every minute of her time when she's in the office is the company's time. Even the slightest deviation from this ironclad rule will result in termination. Office workers do not have unions and they can be easily replaced, as Beth very well knows.
"These are your in-and out-boxes. All the forms in your in-box must be logged in by the date shown in the upper-left-hand corner, initialed by you in the upper-right-hand corner, and distributed to the Processing Analyst whose name is numerically coded in the lower-left-hand corner."
Oh, my, this sounds like the eerie echo of a mini-fascist state or a bureaucratic nightmare out of Kafka. Welcome to work world, American-style, Beth.
"You must pace your work...We pace our work according to the eight-hour work-day. If you have twelve hours of work in your in-box, for example, you must compress that work into the eight-hour day. If you have one hour of work in your in-box, you must expand that work to fill the eight-hour day."
What a howler! You can bet nearly every day Beth will be forced to do twelve hours of work each eight-hour day. In other words, Beth is looking at an unreasonable amount of work. However, she's been told up front, so if she complains, even once, she can be fired on the spot. But since Beth NEEDS the paycheck to live above the poverty line, if she's like millions of other office workers, she'll simply work her ass off in silence.
"This is our receptionist. She is a temp. We go through receptionists here. They quit with alarming frequency. Be polite and civil to temps. Learn their names, and invite them to lunch occasionally. But don't get close to them, as it only makes it more difficult when they leave. And they always leave. You can bet on that."
A classic tactic in organizations: give workers mixed messages so no matter how they act or what they do, you'll always be able to criticize them or fire them on the spot.
"The men's room is over there. The women's room is over there. John LeFountaine, who sits over there, uses the women's room occasionally. He says it is accidental. We know better, but we let it pass. John Fountaine is harmless, his forays into the forbidden territory of the women's room simply a benign thrill, a faint blip on the dull, flat line of his life."
Ha! A man violating women's privacy is OK with management for a number of possible reasons: this guy makes lots of money for the company, he is the owner's son, he holds power in some way (like knowing the company has engaged in illegal activities). One way or the other, John F transcends common decency and the arm of the law. Also, Amy can use this as a test: if Beth objects, she will be invited to leave the building now.
"Russell Nash, who sits in the cubicle to your left, is in love with Amanda Pierce, who sits in the cubicle to your right."
Amy describes in detail all the emotional tangles between various employees thus alerting Beth she must be aware of what she's walking into, a given in most office environments. Of course, Beth will be expected to be sensitive to her fellow workers' emotions and relationships - one slip up and she could be fired.
"Anika Bloom sits in that cubicle. Last year, while reviewing quarterly reports in a meeting with Barry Hacker, Anika Bloom's left palm began to bleed. She fell into a trance, stared into her hand, and told Barry Hacker when and how his wife would die. We laughed it off. She was, after all, a new employee. But Barry Hacker's wife is dead. So unless you want to know exactly when and how you'll die, never talk to Anika Bloom."
Now that's extreme! Perhaps Amy is fabricating the story, maybe Anika Bloom is filing a claim against the company and Amy simply wants Beth to avoid all contact with Anika. Whatever the reason, Beth knows she's about to enter a hornet's nest, one more reason to keep to herself and devote every minute to completing twelve-hours of work every day.
"Kevin Howard sits in that cubicle over there. He is a serial killer, the one they call the Carpet Cutter, responsible for the mutilations across town....Kevin Howard does not let any of this interfere with his work. He is, in fact, our fastest typist. He types as if he were on fire."
Ahh! The extreme of extreme! But Kevin Howard, via his typing skills, can obviously make more money for the company, the overriding factor in keeping Kevin Howard at his desk. Again, maybe Amy isn't telling the truth, maybe Amy has her own emotional attachment to this guy and she doesn't want Beth messing with her man.
Are you the type of person to avoid such an office? Do you think you'd rather work in a warehouse, at a zoo, or as a lawyer or a temp? Daniel Orozco has written other stories to let you know what you could be in for.
American author Daniel Orozco, born 1957
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