Temporary Stories by Daniel Orozco

 


Temporary Stories by Daniel Orozco is one of nine short-stories included in the author's collection - Orientation. Temporary Stories features a temp by the name of Clarissa Snow.

Temporary Stories, a twenty-pager where Daniel Orozco lets it rip. Here's a highlight reel tracing Clarissa Snow's odyssey over the span of several months working her temp jobs -

TEMP AGENCY TAGLINE
"You're our best girl. You know that, don't you? And you can say no if you want. You know that, too, don't you?" So speaks a Mrs. Delahanty when telling Clarissa Snow about a temp job where she is needed, phone work, and Clarissa Snow knows very well she is not a phone person. But, and here's the kicker - Clarissa Snow also knows she can never say no if she ever wants to work again.

Such are the dynamics of the American workplace - if you are just a worker with a modest skill - typing, filing, answering the phone - you have zero leverage and you will be told what to do, when to do it and who to do it for, period. If you balk or complain, you may never work again, ergo, you could drop below the poverty line. Meanwhile, the temp agency has an entire lineup of girls eager to work a temp job and make some money.

HUMAN RESOURCE OFFICE HELL
Clarissa Snow sits at a phone in this office at the county hospital where she's given detailed instructions on what to say when on the phone. The main receptionist who knows all the answers is a fat woman who is proud being fat and also proud of the institution where she works, so proud it's as if she wants to cross her heart and sing a paean to the gods of the glorious county hospital.

Clarissa Snow answers the phone and since she never knows what to say or how to respond to all the questions, she winds up turning the calls over to the fat lady. Eventually, Clarissa Snow gets the hang of it and can answer questions - just like the fat lady. Oh, lucky girl!

Lucky Clarissa Snow fields calls like the one from a forty-four year old man who needs a job DESPERATELY since he's sleeping on his brother-in-law's couch and he's about to be kicked out of the house. And how about all those people BEGGING Clarissa Snow to find work for them as she hears their constant refrain: I NEED A JOB! I NEED A JOB!

Daniel Orozco writes: "By the end of her second day, Clarissa Snow had the jitters. And by the end of Week One of her eight-to-twelve-week assignment, she had developed an eczema rash on her neck and arms. She was popping aspirin like breath mints."

What happens to Clarissa Snow in the ensuing weeks in Human Resource Hell will be enough to break your heart. She's even given a pep talk by Mrs. Delahanty and a counseling session by the fat lady - over the phone. How touching!

SECRET REPORT
Clarissa Snow is sent to an insurance company to type and edit a Secret Report (author caps) for the Executive Vice President. She's told the report is so secret, she shouldn't talk to anyone in the building. Of course, all the insurance people talk to her in whispers.

On her fourth week and final week working on the Secret Report, Clarissa Snow discovered its secret - a proposal to eliminate the Claims Unit (all the people in the building she's been seeing these past weeks) and shift everything to an overseas vendor.

What does Clarissa Snow do? As per Daniel Orozco: "That afternoon she locked her door and made some additional changes to the Secret Report. Using the search-and-replace function of her computer, she substituted all occurrences of the Executive Vice President's name with the word "Dickhead." Other Executive Vice Presidents became "Bunghole" and "Pedophile" and "Pig-bitch." She changed downsizing to "butt-fucking," "remuneration" to "masturbation," and "capital outlays" to "steaming pile of shit."

What happens thereafter to Clarissa Snow will, once again, break your heart.

PLUMB PERFECT
Clarissa Snow finally, finally gets her chance to work the perfect temp job.

"The job was a plum, and Clarissa Snow - having gotten Mrs. D. out of many a job pickle - was now reaping a bounty of plumbs. Life in the Agency had tempered her into a loyal and hardworking employee. Her evaluations were impeccable, and her reputation was beyond reproach. She had moved into an echelon of temporary service attained by few, which conferred upon her the Agency's most coveted emblems of appreciation: the Exceptional Performance Pin and the assurance of permanent temporary employment."

Daniel Orozco, you irony-slinging inkslinger - you've done it again. And what happens to Clarissa Snow at the very end of the story? Hint: sweet Clarissa wants nothing as much as the simple touch of another, like the contact one experiences when dozens of women and men squeeze into an already jam-packed bus or subway, a touch that can be random and intimate and essential.


American author Daniel Orozco, born 1957