Ancestral Vices
- British author Tom Sharpe constructs another hilarious,
side-splitting satire filled with memorable, eccentric, rubbery
characters (think of the world of Don Martin, Mad Magazine's maddest
artist, as per below illustrations) and laced with preposterous,
outlandish events and happenings.
At the center of this Monty
Pythonesque farce is Professor Walden Yapp summoned by Lord Petrefact to
compile a Petrefact family history with an especial focus on the part
played by the family in industry. Yapp can hardly believe his ears since
he's well aware of the foul business practices employed by the
Petrefacts stretching across generations - their numerous sweatshops,
mines, mills, foundries and factories where brutality and subhuman
working conditions were all the norm so as to maximize the Petrefact
profits.
Of course, wheelchair-bound Lord Petrefact, nasty
octogenarian geezer that he is, has his reasons for choosing Walden
Yapp, a priggish, prudish thirty-year-old bachelor and prof at Kloone
University specializing in industrial relations with a decidedly
anti-capitalist slant. And nefarious Lord Petrefact entices Yapp with
huge amounts of money. Yapp accepts and he's off to the little town of
Buscott, home to a number of Petrefacts and one of their key factories.
Now,
there's a feature of this Tom Sharpe novel that made it particularly
appealing to me: toward the end, one of the story's characters undergoes
a major transformation. That's right. A Tom Sharpe novel is a comedy
overflowing with slapstick, but whatever the context, transformation is
transformation, and it can be both moving and profound. It certainly is
evident here, where we witness a major shift in a character who sheds a
lifetime of hypocrisy and illusion, coming into alignment with who they
truly are and their place in the world.
Cycling back, there are many occasions to laugh out loud. Take a gander at a few Ancestral Vices highlights:
To
Everything Turn, Turn, Turn – Lord Petrefact's electric wheelchair is
nothing less than a deluxe model, custom made according to his own
highly calibrated specifications. One night while in bed, crisis
strikes. Lord P watches in horror as some mysterious catastrophe causes
his chandelier and plaster to crash down. “In front the wheelchair,
activated by the plaster, shot forward, gathering speed and collided
first with a large ornamental vase and then with an embroidered silk
screen which had until then been camouflaging Lord Petrefact's portable
commode. Having demolished the screen and emptied the commode the chair
recoiled, with apparent disgust, and evident urgency, in the opposite
direction. As the damned thing scuttled past him Lord Petrefact made a
final attempt to stop it but the wheelchair was intent on other things,
this time a glass-fronted cabinet containing some extremely valuable
jade pieces. With a horror that came in part from the knowledge that
they were irreplaceable, and for all he knew underinsured, Lord
Petrefact watched the wheelchair slam through the glass and spin round
several times, shattering the treasures of half a dozen dynasties before
heading straight toward him. But Lord Petrefact was ready. He had no
intention of being decapitated by his own wheelchair or of joining the
contents of the commode in that corner of the room.” The mayhem
continues...and continues, almost ending his life by strangulation of
his lordly private parts. This scene underscores how once Tom Sharpe
gets going, he reeves up his prose to full throttle and only the reader
is safe.
Extras - Eschewing a hotel as too capitalist, Walden
Yapp decided to stay as a border in the home of Mrs. Rosie Coppett and
her husband, Willie, who happened to be a dwarf. Rosie asked Yapp if he
wanted “extras” and Yapp, not even close to guessing what that meant,
told Rosie “yes” since, after all, he wanted to please his landlady and
give her some added cash as an expression of his gratitude. Then one day
on his return home for some needed rest, the shock: “I'm ready,” she
said striking a contorted pose against the banister that gave a ghastly
prominence to and positively riveted Yapp's disgusted attention on her
putative suspender belt. “Ready?” he asked, his voice harsh with tension
as well as suede restorer.” I'm sure you can imagine what follows when
prissy, prim Yapp comes to understand exactly what he was agreeing to
when he told Rosie he wanted extras. Tom Sharpe's satire is at its
stinging best when his characters are caught in a comedy of errors
revolving around sex.
Bollixed Boobie – Walden Yapp proves
himself the archetypal clueless academic who spent his youth memorizing
the Bible and an Encyclopedia when he takes his car to the car wash for
the very first time. Yapp must make sure his trunk (boot for Brits) is
sparkling clean. “For the next few minutes drivers on their way into
town were interested to watch the effects of a modern, efficient and
self-motivated carwashing machine at work on an old Vauxhall whose
boot-lid has been left deliberately wide open. Yapp, trapped inside the
vehicle by the whirling brushes and the jets of water, could only
surmise from the noise what was happening. The brushes had slammed the
back door before allowing it to open again while they attended to the
back bumper, but on their return journey up and over the car found the
boot in their way. A less conscientious machine might have stopped but
this one didn't.” Poor, Yapp.
Tom Sharpe is truly master of
the craft in all phases of comedy, from first page to last. But, again,
the real juice in the tale centers on the dramatic transformation of
one of his characters. A novel not to be missed. 
British author Tom Sharpe, 1928-2013
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