A
classic Guy de Maupassant tale of two older men discussing the process
of aging. One of the men, Pierre Carnier, relates a particular
experience he had with a beautiful woman. Then the shock. Pierre meets
this lady of his dreams twelve years later. The lady tells Pierre, “'I
am greatly changed, am I not? What can you expect—everything has its
time! You see, I have become a mother, nothing but a good mother.
Farewell to the rest, that is over.”
By these words, the good
lady, now a happy mother of four daughters, recognizes she's moved on to
another stage of her life. And she accepts the rhythms of youth and
aging with such grace.
But not Pierre. Seeing her as a fat woman
who is no longer the beauty he loved, he sheds tears. This encounter
prompts Pierre, that night, to stand before the mirror and realize more
fully than he has at any time previously that he is no longer the
dashingly handsome youth he once was. Farewell!
For me, this Guy
de Maupassant tale brings to mind an essay by Arthur Schopenhauer, where
the great German philosopher outlines the stages of life. Here's a key
observation: with age, a man gains "a certain tincture of wisdom, which
distinguishes him from the young. But the chief result of all this
change is the peace of mind that ensues—a great element in happiness,
and, in fact, the condition and essence of it."
So, with this in
mind, we can read Maupassant's tale and ask ourselves if either of these
two men gain in wisdom what they have lost in youth.
FAREWELL
The
two friends were getting near the end of their dinner. Through the cafe
windows they could see the Boulevard, crowded with people. They could
feel the gentle breezes which are wafted over Paris on warm summer
evenings and make you feel like going out somewhere, you care not where,
under the trees, and make you dream of moonlit rivers, of fireflies and
of larks.
One of the two, Henri Simon, heaved a deep sigh and said:
“Ah! I am growing old. It's sad. Formerly, on evenings like this, I felt full of life. Now, I only feel regrets. Life is short!”
He was perhaps forty-five years old, very bald and already growing stout.
The other, Pierre Carnier, a trifle older, but thin and lively, answered:
“Well,
my boy, I have grown old without noticing it in the least. I have
always been merry, healthy, vigorous and all the rest. As one sees
oneself in the mirror every day, one does not realize the work of age,
for it is slow, regular, and it modifies the countenance so gently that
the changes are unnoticeable. It is for this reason alone that we do not
die of sorrow after two or three years of excitement. For we cannot
understand the alterations which time produces. In order to appreciate
them one would have to remain six months without seeing one's own face
—then, oh, what a shock!
“And the women, my friend, how I pity
the poor beings! All their joy, all their power, all their life, lies in
their beauty, which lasts ten years.
“As I said, I aged without
noticing it; I thought myself practically a youth, when I was almost
fifty years old. Not feeling the slightest infirmity, I went about,
happy and peaceful.
“The revelation of my decline came to me in a
simple and terrible manner, which overwhelmed me for almost six
months—then I became resigned.
“Like all men, I have often been in love, but most especially once.
“I
met her at the seashore, at Etretat, about twelve years ago, shortly
after the war. There is nothing prettier than this beach during the
morning bathing hour. It is small, shaped like a horseshoe, framed by
high white cliffs, which are pierced by strange holes called the
'Portes,' one stretching out into the ocean like the leg of a giant, the
other short and dumpy. The women gather on the narrow strip of sand in
this frame of high rocks, which they make into a gorgeous garden of
beautiful gowns. The sun beats down on the shores, on the multicolored
parasols, on the blue-green sea; and all is gay, delightful, smiling.
You sit down at the edge of the water and you watch the bathers. The
women come down, wrapped in long bath robes, which they throw off
daintily when they reach the foamy edge of the rippling waves; and they
run into the water with a rapid little step, stopping from time to time
for a delightful little thrill from the cold water, a short gasp.
“Very
few stand the test of the bath. It is there that they can be judged,
from the ankle to the throat. Especially on leaving the water are the
defects revealed, although water is a powerful aid to flabby skin.
“The
first time that I saw this young woman in the water, I was delighted,
entranced. She stood the test well. There are faces whose charms appeal
to you at first glance and delight you instantly. You seem to have found
the woman whom you were born to love. I had that feeling and that
shock.
“I was introduced, and was soon smitten worse than I had
ever been before. My heart longed for her. It is a terrible yet
delightful thing thus to be dominated by a young woman. It is almost
torture, and yet infinite delight. Her look, her smile, her hair
fluttering in the wind, the little lines of her face, the slightest
movement of her features, delighted me, upset me, entranced me. She had
captured me, body and soul, by her gestures, her manners, even by her
clothes, which seemed to take on a peculiar charm as soon as she wore
them. I grew tender at the sight of her veil on some piece of furniture,
her gloves thrown on a chair. Her gowns seemed to me inimitable. Nobody
had hats like hers.
“She was married, but her husband came only
on Saturday, and left on Monday. I didn't cencern myself about him,
anyhow. I wasn't jealous of him, I don't know why; never did a creature
seem to me to be of less importance in life, to attract my attention
less than this man.
“But she! how I loved her! How beautiful,
graceful and young she was! She was youth, elegance, freshness itself!
Never before had I felt so strongly what a pretty, distinguished,
delicate, charming, graceful being woman is. Never before had I
appreciated the seductive beauty to be found in the curve of a cheek,
the movement of a lip, the pinkness of an ear, the shape of that foolish
organ called the nose.
“This lasted three months; then I left
for America, overwhelmed with sadness. But her memory remained in me,
persistent, triumphant. From far away I was as much hers as I had been
when she was near me. Years passed by, and I did not forget her. The
charming image of her person was ever before my eyes and in my heart.
And my love remained true to her, a quiet tenderness now, something like
the beloved memory of the most beautiful and the most enchanting thing I
had ever met in my life.
“Twelve years are not much in a
lifetime! One does not feel them slip by. The years follow each other
gently and quickly, slowly yet rapidly, each one is long and yet so soon
over! They add up so rapidly, they leave so few traces behind them,
they disappear so completely, that, when one turns round to look back
over bygone years, one sees nothing and yet one does not understand how
one happens to be so old. It seemed to me, really, that hardly a few
months separated me from that charming season on the sands of Etretat.
“Last spring I went to dine with some friends at Maisons-Laffitte.
“Just
as the train was leaving, a big, fat lady, escorted by four little
girls, got into my car. I hardly looked at this mother hen, very big,
very round, with a face as full as the moon framed in an enormous,
beribboned hat.
“She was puffing, out of breath from having been
forced to walk quickly. The children began to chatter. I unfolded my
paper and began to read.
“We had just passed Asnieres, when my neighbor suddenly turned to me and said:
“'Excuse me, sir, but are you not Monsieur Garnier?'
“'Yes, madame.'
“Then she began to laugh, the pleased laugh of a good woman; and yet it was sad.
“'You do not seem to recognize me.'
“I hesitated. It seemed to me that I had seen that face somewhere; but where? when? I answered:
“'Yes—and no. I certainly know you, and yet I cannot recall your name.'
“She blushed a little:
“'Madame Julie Lefevre.'
“Never
had I received such a shock. In a second it seemed to me as though it
were all over with me! I felt that a veil had been torn from my eyes and
that I was going to make a horrible and heartrending discovery.
“So
that was she! That big, fat, common woman, she! She had become the
mother of these four girls since I had last her. And these little beings
surprised me as much as their mother. They were part of her; they were
big girls, and already had a place in life. Whereas she no longer
counted, she, that marvel of dainty and charming gracefulness. It seemed
to me that I had seen her but yesterday, and this is how I found her
again! Was it possible? A poignant grief seized my heart; and also a
revolt against nature herself, an unreasoning indignation against this
brutal, infarious act of destruction.
“I looked at her,
bewildered. Then I took her hand in mine, and tears came to my eyes. I
wept for her lost youth. For I did not know this fat lady.
“She was also excited, and stammered:
“'I
am greatly changed, am I not? What can you expect—everything has its
time! You see, I have become a mother, nothing but a good mother.
Farewell to the rest, that is over. Oh! I never expected you to
recognize me if we met. You, too, have changed. It took me quite a while
to be sure that I was not mistaken. Your hair is all white. Just think!
Twelve years ago! Twelve years! My oldest girl is already ten.'
“I
looked at the child. And I recognized in her something of her mother's
old charm, but something as yet unformed, something which promised for
the future. And life seemed to me as swift as a passing train.
“We
had reached. Maisons-Laffitte. I kissed my old friend's hand. I had
found nothing but the most commonplace remarks. I was too much upset to
talk.
“At night, alone, at home, I stood in front of the mirror
for a long time, a very long time. And I finally remembered what I had
been, finally saw in my mind's eye my brown mustache, my black hair and
the youthful expression of my face. Now I was old. Farewell!”
French author Guy de Maupassant, 1850-1893
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