The Boy Next Door by Chip Oliver

 

1951 photo of eight-year-olds in second grade. I wonder which one is Jimmy Walls?

THE BOY NEXT DOOR by Chip Oliver
The Interlopers by Saki (the pen name of H.H. Munro) is the prime story taught in schools to illustrate the use of irony by its shocking ending. Recall, two men, bitter enemies, are trapped under a tree in a forest. They exchange words and eventually decide to end their family's generational feud and become friends. They hear sounds. Thinking a rescue party has finally located them, they call out. But the tale's final one word line says it all: Wolves.

Chip Oliver employs a similar ironic shock ending in this zinger of a tale published in 1951, the heyday for all those shows where an adult host asks a youngster to come up on stage for a chat. Spoiler Alert: I cover the story from beginning to (gulp!) end.

Harry Royal, a prototypical 50s bloated buffoon, serves as the hypocritical host (a few strokes of internal dialogue and it becomes clear Harry hates kids). Oh, well, he has to make a living. Anyway, Harry tells all the kids in the audience it's five o'clock and he'll pick a name from a box and ask the lucky winner to come up for a little talk. “This afternoon our guest is young Jimmy Walls, from away out in Terrace Heights.”

Harry can see Jimmy is a blonde, blue-eyed eager-looking boy in a new suit. “Don't be afraid now, Jimmy.” Jimmy tells him he's not afraid, and, when asked, lets Harry know his favorite programs are The Hag's Hut and Terror in the Night. Harry reflects: nothing like horror programs for the little, growing minds, and asks if those programs scare him. Jimmy replies that they don't scare him at all.

Harry then asks what he likes about those programs. Jimmy shots back, “I like the way they kill people. They sure are smart!”

Harry figures he would be wise to change the subject. He asks Jimmy what he's been doing all week. Jimmy replies proudly, “Killing people.” Harry chides him with, “Come now—honest is the best policy.” To which Jimmy tells Harry, “I am honest. Nobody ever believes me.”

Harry tries laughing it off but Jimmy lets him know he's killed lots of people. Harry insists he knows a good joke when he hears one, but, “other people might get the wrong idea. Then what will you do?” Jimmy replies, “Uncle George will fix it.”

At this point old Harry feels an unaccustomed chill race down his spine. “Uncle George must be quite a man.” Jimmy tells him flatly that Uncle George isn't a man. At this point Harry Royal wants to take complete control and starts asking inane questions about sports and cuts Jimmy off mid-sentence every time the boy tries to answer. Finally, Harry abruptly ends the conversation and signs off.

The studio quickly empties. Harry walks off but stops short when he hears Jimmy's voice. “Mr. Royal, will you wait here with me until my ride comes? I'd be scared in here.”

A few minutes later, Uncle George appears and Harry comes over to shake his hand. Harry can see Uncle George is quite human, a nice little fat man with a red face wearing a conservative gray suit and carrying an old hickory walking stick.

Harry is mighty relieved when he sees Uncle George walking away with Jimmy. But then the shock: Uncle George starts backing toward him from the studio door and Harry spots something unusual— “In the exact center of the back of his balding head was a large, blue eye. And it winked at him with a hideous regularity, over and over again. Wink—step—wink—step—wink—
Harry Royal caught a fleeting glimpse of little Jimmy Walls. His small eager face peered intently from the studio doorway, shinning blue eyes wide in anticipation.”