
In this classic Stefan Zweig tale, Roland, a young student at a new university, meets an inspirational teacher. There is confusion, to be sure, but to truly comprehend a world where confusion reigns supreme, take a gander at the flash fiction I published in my past life as a writer of flash tales.
A LITTLE CONFUSION
A wife is a little confused: instead of her car, she drops off her husband for a change of oil and a tune-up. So this husband sits in the waiting room until they call his name, then he reves up his legs and flops on the hydraulic lift as the mechanics, also a little confused, hoist him up.
They take his teeth for the grill, his hands and feet for the tires. The man keeps himself flat; he's more than a little confused, having been hoisted on his belly by the hydraulic lift. His arms and legs dangle, his heart is pumping, a heart the confused mechanics take for an engine.
One of the mechanics opens the man's mouth and takes his tongue for a cylinder and his throat for the radiator. He announces to the crew, "Needs new points and plugs." "How much longer am I going to be up here?" the man asks. One of the confused mechanics shrugs his shoulders and whispers, "Everyone is in such a rush these days. They should know this stuff takes time."
When the mechanics are through, the man has a couple of incisions in his back, the front of his head is shaved, his pants are pulled down, his balls are smeared with grease, and an inspection sticker is plastered on the right cheek of his ass.
The confused mechanics lead him to where he will squat on the oil-stained asphalt between a truck and a convertible until his wife comes back to pick him up. The wife returns and asks, "How's it running?" "Shouldn't give you to many problems," says a mechanic, "now that we have her the once over." The wife leads her husband away on a leash, and when she passes another mechanic, the one who did most of the work, he tells her, "Lady, keep an eye on that stick shift of yours. It's acting kind of funny. Try not to grind through the gears or you're really gonna have problems."
Comments
Post a Comment